Smoking Weeds
May 1st 2008Ellen WilsonMiscellaneous
house of reeds
where plovers sleep
plastered with crap
Kobayashi Issa
I was going to write something all esoteric and languid about how the reeds were reflected in the lake and the sky simultaneously and was looking up some haiku to accomplish this feat, when this poem by Issa came flying up through the centuries and plopped itself on the page.
Or should I say, pooped itself on the page.
I’m sure Issa is having a good laugh.
Yes, there is a light side to things, and a dark side to things, and that is why we laugh. To get us through it all. What if we never laughed? How depressing would that be? So if you are depressed, please, start laughing right now, and it will kick start the happy chemicals in your brain.
I thought of The Deep Friar and his meditative posters. That is what got me going on all of this. Friar is very funny and I’m sure they will soon promote him to Section Humor Head at the Widget Factory. Satire is the name of his game. And isn’t satire a little dark? But it is oh so tasty and honest.
And I was thinking of Bob Younce, author of The Writing Journey, when I wrote this. Because he wrote an excellent piece on How Life in Unfair. And it is. Even when we want it to be.
But if life didn’t have this dark side, how could we know the light side?
So I quit smoking today. And it is Beltane. Day of renewal. And this is as good as time as ever. I like symbolism, and surely you get it. I will now be renewing my dark lungs.
I told my friend, Amy Derby, over at Write at Home, ’cause she has been through it all, and I’m sure she will be supportive. It all really started with her, and the synchronicity of quitting smoking couldn’t have been better. Thanks Amy!
And because I’m a bad liar? You will know if I smoke again.
My daughter and I broke the cigs over the trash can - symbolically breaking their strength over me. The same gesture I went through with my son 10 years ago.
And If my husband, Mike, is reading this - I know he will be proud.
My friend, Brett Legree, over at 6 Weeks says, “Fail Early, and Fail Often.”
So never quit quitting.
Photocredit: © Ellen Wilson
30 Comments »
Friaron 01 May 2008 at 3:53 pm 1Ellen
Hahahah! That’s priceless…:-). You have a natural talent for motivational posters. (You just HAVE to Photoshop that poem onto your photo in big words!)
PS. Thanks for the referral, and good luck with quitting smoking!
Brett Legreeon 01 May 2008 at 8:00 pm 2Ellen,
You will do this. I know it. Keep on keepin’ on, never give up. Fall down seven times, get up eight times.
Mike *will* be proud of you.
Happy Beltane my friend - we have a space reserved for you at the fire tonight, and cold beer (Labatts)
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..fix the stairs.
Darren Daz Coxon 01 May 2008 at 8:22 pm 3aww congrats and good luck!
really lovely photo!
Darren Daz Cox’s last blog post..When your future self pops in to say hello
Friaron 01 May 2008 at 11:06 pm 4Ellen
Hahahah! That’s priceless! I’m glad to see my “bad attitude” has rubbed off on at least one person.
You realize, of course, that you HAVE TO photoshop Issa poem on your photo, in bright white italic letters!
Hey, thanks for the referral. I’m really flattered.
And good luck with the smoking thing. I know you can do it.
Friar’s last blog post..Beware the Soup Martyrs
Ellen Wilsonon 02 May 2008 at 8:58 am 5@Brett - There really is nothing else, is there? I mean, I have stopped and started at least 4 times in my life. One time I stopped for 6 years.
@Darren - I’m afraid I might run out of good pictures. I might have to space them out more.
@Friar - Yeah, you’re bad attitiude is right up there. In fact, you gave me another idea, maybe I will make some cards out of my photos with Japanese haiku inside and sell them at our local shop. It may go down well. I know a few local photographers do this, and the stuff seems to sell well - cards, bookmarks, mugs - and whatnots. Apparently it has to be “practical” items. Pictures don’t sell as well. We are all about practical in the Midwest!
The smoking thing isn’t bad…yet. It comes in waves.
Maryon 02 May 2008 at 11:32 am 6It’s amazing to look back and realize the good things that came out of times that seemed really really bad, so bad I thought I wouldn’t get through them. I always think of that quote, “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” I really do think that the dark side is such an important part of our human existence. And lovely photo - is that at one of the Great Lakes?
Ellen Wilsonon 02 May 2008 at 12:16 pm 7Hi Mary! Thanks for stopping by. This is a photo of Lake Richie at dawn on Isle Royale, which is on Lake Superior. You can even see Canada from Isle Royale!
Yeah, the dark in life is a fact of life. That’s a good quote by the way. Who said that?
Brett Legreeon 02 May 2008 at 1:02 pm 8Ellen,
This time, you will do it for good, I know you will.
That symbol will carry you through the hard times. And you will succeed.
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..viking fridays - the unwise man.
Ellen Wilsonon 02 May 2008 at 1:16 pm 9@Brett - Yeah, that is a good one, eh?
@Mary - A few people have asked me where I took some of these photos. I probably should go through and label them. Because I’m anal that way. It also might stimulate some interesting discussion.
Friaron 02 May 2008 at 1:47 pm 10Regarding your quitting smoking. I’m thinking of Rob Schnieder’s line in The Waterboy
“….You can DO EET”.
Isle Royale is also something I’ve wanted to see. It’s amazing you get an island that big in the middle of a freshwater lake. I’ve often flown over it when visiting Alberta.
Friaron 02 May 2008 at 3:00 pm 11Something with the computer at work. I submit comments, but they sometimes appear, and sometimes by dont’.
Wendi Kellyon 02 May 2008 at 6:42 pm 12Ellen,
Good luck with that. I quit several times and then one day I quit and stayed that way. 27 years ago.
It can be done. Sending the strong thoughts.
Ellen Wilsonon 02 May 2008 at 8:16 pm 13Thanks Wendi. That means a lot to me. I’m taking your strong thoughts and putting them in my bag of tricks.
Harmonyon 02 May 2008 at 9:36 pm 14Ellen,
What a great concept. We don’t see the light in Monet’s works without the dark, almost putrid colors used behind the light…
We don’t see the rainbows that make us think of magic and gold and childhood dreams and schemes, without the dark thundrous clouds and rains..
And you won’t see the freedom you seek without the edge of insanity….:-)))))
You have a host of folks at your beckon call… to tell you what you already know…that you are already a non-smoker because you bid it so…
Keep us “posted!!”
Harmony’s last blog post..Are You BIG Enough To Take Up Space?
Friaron 02 May 2008 at 10:46 pm 15@Ellen
I tried to leave a comment today at work, but the computer wouldn’t let me enter anything on your site. Probably the firewall acting up again. (Brett…help!)
Anyway, I like the photo for Isle Royale. I’ve always wanted to check out it out. (Almost went there 2 years ago). There’s something haunting and beautiful about Lake Superiour that I love.
I don’t smoke, but I can somewhat relate, as I’m constantly battling my weight. So Kudos to you for trying.
….just remember the immortal words of Rob Schneider in the movie “The Waterboy”.
“You can DO EEEEET”.
Friar’s last blog post..How to Take Good Meeting Notes…
Jennyon 03 May 2008 at 1:02 am 16Ellen,
I really enjoyed your post! I hope you stick with the “NO SMOKING” fight! It is well worth it! I also appreciated your comment on if you are depressed to start laughing. It made me smile, I’ve fought those demons and sometimes laughter is the best medicine!
thanks!
Jenny’s last blog post..Not So Random This Time!
Monika Mundellon 03 May 2008 at 11:00 am 17You can do this Elllen! Plus you have all of us to kick you in the behind if you fail. But then as Brett says we are supposed to fail so go and do your best.
Loved your poem and the image. Now you have me reading Japanese Haiku.
Oh well, I always wanted to learn Japanese.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..Proposing For A Job - Freelance Writing Guide
Ellen Wilsonon 03 May 2008 at 11:29 am 18@Harmony - Your words are always wise and welcome. I will keep you posted. It got pretty bad yesterday, day 2, and I suspect day 3 will also be a demon, but I will push on. Thank you for Golden Zen. Next on my list is to get back into my Zazen routine and watch my monkey mind. You know what a bad student I am…
@Friar - Go to Isle Royale! Mike and I are thinking of going in September. That is really the best time to go. All the tourists are gone. Lake Superior is haunting, and very cold. We lived on the shores of this old, cold lake for a few years. Literally. Yeah, Brett must get that fixed. I’m sure he will. And no, I haven’t seen the Waterboy. But if you like it, I’ll probably watch it.
@Jenny - Welcome, and thanks for stopping by! I’m glad I could be of service. Maybe if more of us are happy, or at peace, there will be less suffering in the world.
@Monika - Hello to you in Oz! You must be ready to sleep soon. I’m glad you liked the haiku. The Japanese monks always hit the nail on the head of meaning. My son, Nick, started teaching himself Japanese, but then he gave it up. You really need someone to practice with. I learned some words.
Yeah, I know you all will get after me. That’s why I announced it on the Net. hehehe…
Karen Swimon 03 May 2008 at 11:41 am 19Wow, wow, wow!I was transfixed by the hauntingly beautiful photograph and then moved on to the awesome post. So many thoughts, emotions and ideas running through my head. You are so right about the symbolism in the photo and the poem, well it could not be more appropriate. Like so many have commented the darkest times in my own life have brought about the most fruitful changes. Because of the dark, I do appreciate the light (whether faint, bright, clouded or hidden) so much more. Congratulations on quitting smoking! I’m here if you need moral support.
Thank you so much for this post and for sharing your journey!
Karen Swim’s last blog post..Is it Social or Is It Business?
Friaron 03 May 2008 at 12:35 pm 20Waterboy is an average/mediocre Adam Sandler movie. Not that great. But that line “You can DO EEET” stuck in my head.
I love Lake Superior. It’s wild and untamed. (Did you know that they didnt’ complete the Trans-Canada highway around the north shore until 1961?)
While Americans were putting astronauts into space, we Canucks still couldn’t drive across our country. Even now it’s still mostly single lane for the 600 miles between Sudbury and Thunder Bay.
Hmmm…Isle Royale. You’re putting vacation ideas in my head.
September is great. I was at Batchawana Bay last year. I had a beach campsite, hardly anyone was there, and the water was actually warm enough to swim in.
Friar’s last blog post..Watercolor #9. Yukon in the Fall
Brett Legreeon 03 May 2008 at 1:51 pm 21@Ellen,
I’d love to go over to our IT department and give them a “talkin’ to”… there’s a reason why the smart ones all leave after a few months
Brett Legree’s last blog post..from dusk till dawn. a story about running.
Friaron 03 May 2008 at 5:38 pm 22Ellen
All kidding aside, it takes guts to publicly admit that you’re quitting smoking. Because now you’re “accountable”. Everyone will start asking you about it. And you will get a few friends who might “kick you in the behind”, as Monika says.
(If I kick you, I promise, I’ll be gentle.
I’m also working on some “self-improvement” (i.e. losing weight and running). But unlike you, I’m not telling anyone how much, or what my goals are. (Too much pressure!)
Friar’s last blog post..Watercolor #9. Yukon in the Fall
Ellen Wilsonon 04 May 2008 at 1:32 pm 23@Karen - I find that we are always pushing away from the dark because it is painful and uncomfortable. Like now, wanting a cigarette and feeling all hormonal. There is really no where to run to. Well, maybe a menstrual hut, but we don’t have those anymore. Too bad. We really should work on getting those back.
@Friar - Okay, maybe I won’t watch Waterboy, then. You know, I’ve heard that Americans didn’t really put astronauts in space. That it’s all a scam. It wouldn’t surprise me. I’ve been to Thunderbay and Sudbury. Thunderbay was hosting some fair convention and a hotel could not be found throughout the entire city. I couldn’t understand that; it’s a pretty big city. Batchawana Bay? Isn’t that by Pukaskwa National Park?
@Brett - Well, I guess it’s not too bad, I mean, you can still work on your blog! That definitely counts for something.
Well, the thing is I don’t have to see you guys in “person” everyday, so it’s not the same as getting ragged on from non-virtual people. I could lie for awhile, eh? No, I’m not a good liar. It’s just the whole shame based, I’m a smoker thing, that’s hard to admit. And then the shame of starting again? Do I really want to deal with that? My mind keeps trying to trick me saying oh, just once in awhile will be okay. After a few beers. And at some periods of time I was able to do this. Not always, though.
Brett Legreeon 04 May 2008 at 2:58 pm 24Ellen,
That is true, I can still work on my blog. Though I should probably only do it “offline” for fear of getting dooced…
I will say this, at least what I’m doing right now doesn’t require me to be on call or work long hours, so I’m getting a fair bit done at home on my personal stuff. And I have more time with my family as well!
Anyway - you’re going to do this.
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..from dusk till dawn. a story about running.
Ellen Wilsonon 04 May 2008 at 3:46 pm 25Brett,
Man, it is hard today! I’m going to go plant some flowers now, and then go have a glass of wine.
Carolyn is bugging me to get on the computer so she can do her Disney games. So, I’ll be off for awhile and then I’ll read Monika’s excellent query letter post again.
Good luck with all the personal writing project stuff. Keep me posted. E
Brett Legreeon 04 May 2008 at 3:53 pm 26Ellen,
I can only imagine. Most people have trouble staying off sweets, and they are not at all the same. A glass of wine will help.
I really do like Monika’s post as well. It has given me some great ideas.
Thank you - I will keep you posted. I expect to make great progress in the next couple of months. And, I am still reviewing your work as well (haven’t forgotten about that).
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..from dusk till dawn. a story about running.
Ellen Wilsonon 04 May 2008 at 8:41 pm 27Sweets aren’t my problem, too bad! Well, everyone has their thing.
Sometimes you can get a job with a really short pitch - I’ve found. But, like Monika says, usually an editor will want to know a bit about your background, and if you get a few clips that all your really need. That’s one of the main reasons I decided to write for Suite101.com.
I’m sure you will accomplish anything you set out to, Brett. You have the drive.
Brett Legreeon 04 May 2008 at 8:48 pm 28As do you, Ellen. I think the world belongs to us - believe it, and it will be so.
I’ve been wondering about something like Suite101. I’ll ask you about it offline.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..from dusk till dawn. a story about running.
Ellen Wilsonon 04 May 2008 at 9:07 pm 29I believe it!
Sure, fire away any questions. I’ve got to get caught up on the email. Been kinda lax today. The house and laundry were gaining ground in the dirty department. I should be caught up by tomorrow. Hopefully.
Brett Legreeon 04 May 2008 at 9:18 pm 30I know you believe it. I sent you a quick email, we can chat about it at length when we have time.
Ah yes, house and laundry. We had that today too. The house is still a bit untidy, and the laundry in piles. But the kids are happy…
sometimes we need the lazy days.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..from dusk till dawn. a story about running.